Surgeon Guy

Surgeon guy showed up as both a Tinder and a Bumble match and he quickly messaged me and asked me to dinner for the very same night. He got me just at the right moment because I was in a very 'why not' mood...so I accepted and threw on a sexy dress and met him at a popular local spot in Winter Park. 

This man's profile photo was great, he was in shape, he was dressed sharply and he worked in the medical field. What could go wrong?

When I opened the door to Sixty Vines there was a short, bald, hairy legged man (I knew this because he was wearing cargo shorts) standing at the host desk, and I just knew. FUCK. Is it too late to turn and run? I was pondering this when he turned around, having felt the swoosh of warm air from outside. OMG his face was even worse than his back which had, until a moment ago, left some hope for salvage. 

Surgeon Guy beamed when he saw me and wrapped me in a big hug. "Let's grab a seat at the bar," he said. Ok ok, points for warmth and the ability to make a decision, I thought. 

We sat, we ordered, we talked and talked and talked. Surgeon Guy was funny, and wildly confident ...he just wasn't as advertised. As we chatted and noshed he droned on and on about how none of the women he has been out with lately look anything like their photos, and they are all just in it for free dinner. It was either his complete lack of self awareness or the very dry dirty martini I had just finished which led me to an unprecedented act of honesty. "Hey, would you like some feedback on your profile?" I asked him. He looked at me and replied, "sure, why not?"

I didn't hold back. I told him that while he is complaining that the women he goes out with don't look like their photos, he himself looks nothing like the man in his profile. He admitted to me that those photos were 15 years old! FIFTEEN YEARS people!! He was actually a good sport about it, but I did advise him that most women would not have stayed tonight....but that I am simply a coward, and lacked the balls to leave him standing there. Then he said, "so, I'm not getting laid tonight?" 

Holy Hell! Even the ones that have the fucking gaul to false advertise and then complain about it from others just want sex. Noted. 

You know, he popped up on my likes list again a few weeks later....new photos of his true self. Awwwww. Swipe left.